Diving Distination

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1- Find a dive Center 

It's time to find a dive center, a place that has a unique smell and should be made of neoprene. If not, buy them a Glade supplement.

Typically, in a dive center, you will find large older men. But don't be scared they're like teddy bears. Unlike Greg stay away from Greg 

2- Find an instructor 

Your instructor is the coolest person you will ever meet. All they want to do is hang out with you providing that you pay them of course. 

Try to make friends with them on Facebook they'll love that, think of the as your older sibling they'll give you all the advice you need on scuba diving not your personal life, no one wants to hear about your annoying husband Cheryl 

3- Buy a mask

You've been waiting to try out your mask as soon as you bought it, and now it's time to test it out in the tub everybody does it, just ignore the weird looks your partner gives you when they walk in. 

4-Get qualified 

It is a simple approved / failed course. All you have to do is take off your mask about 50 times. If you study the algorithms and then find that your dive computer does everything for you, you will also wonder why your wetsuit sticks and smells a little strange.

5-Rise and shine

Now is the time to get your own diving equipment, re-rent your home, buy a kit, take out a second mortgage and retake it.

 6-Buy your own kit 

Now it's time to get your very own scuba gear, just remortgage your house buy some kit, get a second mortgage and repeat.

 You know that expensive regulator that you bought last year or kiss work they just brought out an updated version and it's two grams lighter, you'll try on six different B CDs in every size just to see if it fits, you'll spend less time thinking about how useful this would be and more time thinking about how cool you'll look. This makes you the dive retailers favorite customer.

7-Finding somewhere to dive

 Look online at the many tropical paradises that you can scuba dive, now look at your bank account, now look at diving in Cornwall, just be prepared for the Google algorithm to kick in and advertise all the fabulous places to dive that you can't afford .

8-Find a dive buddy

Remember you can't die by yourself, so you're going to have to persuade one of your friends to start diving. This means pestering them every day until they give in.

9- Dive

Now that you've lost all of your friends and family to be obsessed with the sport, you can go forward and put all your diving equipment in a pocket and gently throw them with your cylinder into the back of your car and get used to it the sound of your cylinder rolling in the trunk of your car

10- Underwater photos 

Make sure that you post at least a hundred pictures of your last dive trip to impress your Facebook friends. Your profile picture should also be a picture of your dive. So remove this familiar photo and swap it out - if any of you are wearing a mask, make sure you get lots of coral photos. You can never have too many coral photos. So be prepared not to have many friends.

11- dress the part 

Now that you're a diver it's time to tell the world that you're a diver. This means buying shirts that can advertise to the world that you are better than them that also means putting dive stickers o everything.

Get rid of that regular watch you won't be needing it anymore, now you need a dive watch even when you're not diving.

12-Talk the talk 

You need to sneak scuba diving into every interaction you have. You'll be incorporating scuba slang in everyday conversations, words like pony, buddy, newbie, narc'd and vis. So now you're a real scuba diver, now it's time to become a rescue diver, and then a dive master, and all of those specialities that you never knew existed.

And now it's time to replace all of that kit that you just bought and become a tech diver, so did we
Miss out any steps let us know in the comments. 

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