So rather than you guys and girls learning how to pass your open water test, you lot voted for how to fail your open water course. So voted for it, so we're going to do it hi I'm mark from simply scoober and here're eight ways to fail your open water test.
1- Don't do anything
One of the few students I fail simply didn't do very much in the water, they could do all the skills and had great buoyancy, but they never really used their legs to swim around, and relied on lines to pour themselves around. While there are obvious skills that you have to be proficient in performing underwater so your instructor is confident in your skills, the unwritten one is basic Waterman ship, and if you aren't comfortable or capable of moving freely in the water unaided then your instructor will not sign you off.
2- Screw up
Of course if you want to fail then you must really go out of your way to screw up, small little things can add up so calling them flippers and goggles leaving your cylinders standing up and generally answering questions wrong. The course is all about repetition, so you get plenty of chances to practice and get good. But if you continually screw up we will fail you another great way to screw up is to sign up for a B Zack course and turn up with patty materials.
3-Don't listen
Everything about your dive course is at the discretion of your instructor, and if they're not happy or confident in the entire dive and roster, then you are not completing the course. if you're making me worried that you aren't paying attention or understand the risks of your behavior, then you are on my blacklist. You can go off and do your own thing after you've completed the course, but whilst I'm in charge and responsible for your well-being you'll pay attention and do as I say as my main concern is getting you back safely.
4- Don't pay your bills
Everything from your air costs money in this day and age so, if you don't pay your money then we won't sign you off. Some dive centers will have lots of little hidden charges that spring out of we're, so do your research first and there's probably a reason why that Center seems so much cheaper than all the others. Unfortunately like all walks of life if you don't pay your bills you fail, or end up on a TV show with
Bailiffs at your door, it probably won't ever get that bad though but let's see in the comments below if it ever has.
5- Hide medical conditions
Or hiding anything that may affect the dive, be 100% open with your dive instructor about any worry or problem. So that they can fix or prevent a problem from occurring, a YES on your medical questionnaire isn't a fail but if I catch you with an inhaler or something that I should have known about before the course then you're not getting back in the water, and you're going to see a dive doctor first.
Dive instructors are awesome but very few of us have MDS, so we can't diagnose things and deem if you're fit to dive, very few conditions will prevent you from diving, as I've known divers with a whole range of physiological and psychological problems scuba dive just fine, just don't hide anything from your instructor.
6- Showing up in your granddad's gear
Scuba diving's been around forever, and from the previous statement can be a touch expensive at times, so why not wear hand-me-downs from your grandpa. I mean he built them so who's more trustworthy.
My nan has mad knitting skills, so whilst your neoprene wetsuit is contributing to plastic pollution in the world by cable stitch wetsuit is the boss, you can wear it at pray dive and it always turns heads at the dive site just before the ambulance rushes me off to a knee with hypothermia. Kit has advanced over the generations so try to keep up with modern kit it's safer and more effective.
7- Not like your instructor
While I say that dive instructors are awesome there are some lousy instructors out there, if you don't get on with your instructor, or they intimidate you or anything like that, then it's time to move on. your dive instructor should put you at ease and make you want to go diving, so if you feel like you can't approach your instructor about anything then you need a new one.
I understand how stressful teaching scuba courses is as an instructor but a good instructor should be able to adjust the course for anybody to build confidence and proficiency in the water.
8-Race your instructor to the surface
So far you've done your best to fail by copying your answers wearing your Granddad's gear and generally being the class clown, but you're still continuing the dive but a sure way to fail is to race your instructor to the surface.
Now you do have a choice you can let them know the race is about to occur, first or just bolt to the surface yourself and let them figure it out. There is a secret third choice, where you grab your instructors inflator and yours and just mash the buttons down, instructors love it when you do this it tests their reflexes. So there are four rather useful tips and four kind of silly ones, but we got to have a bit of fun with you now and then, so did you fail your open water course let us know how you screwed up in the comments.
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